Elephant Larry: Sketch Comedy

Elephant Larry: Sketch Comedy Elephant Larry: Sketch Comedy

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Archives: October, 2003

(10-28-03)
Tristan asks: Hey Geoff, When am I gonna get my lawnmower back? And for that matter what about that 3/4" wrench I lent to you three weeks ago!

Geoff answers: Never.
Let me tell you something about lawnmowers and 3/4" wrenches, Tristan. People borrow them all the time for things like "mowing the lawn" and "tightening this really loose flange that's been giving me some problems". I put those phrases in quotes because they are lies. In actuality the reason I borrowed those two items was to take your lawnmower apart part by part, bolt by bolt and bury each individual lawnmower shard in a separate country. I then burned the wrench.

So you're not getting either item back. Sorry. I'd buy you new ones, but I don't want to. Oooh, I just thought of something. How about I provide cryptic riddle-type things that will lead you to your beloved lawnmower parts, like those pirates used to do? OK, I'll do that.

If you wish to find the mower, here they are, the riddles fo-ur.
1) One is under a thing that I swim in in my backyard.
2) If you have the POWER you can lift this TOWER in France and find one of the lawnmower parts. The EIFFEL TOWER, that is.
3) Avast ye matey! One is in Russia.
4) The rest is in my room.

If you can decipher all that you deserve to have you precious little lawnmower back. You baby.