BRAND NEW SHOW May 2, 9, 16
As for your question, I think there's a couple of problems we need to address first. First of all, I don't know about you, but I hardly ever lick myself with my acid filled mouth.
YES, I have a mouth filled with acid. YES, I lick things all the time. But that doesn't make me allergic to cats. In fact, why would I lick myself at all? That would just be dangerous.
I will admit, having an acid filled mouth does cause problems. I've never tasted ice cream. One time, I made out with a girl, and she died. But I also saved a lot of money the last time I stripped the varnish off of my floors. So you win some, you lose some.
But this begs the question, why ARE some people allergic to both dogs and cats?
Short answer: The race of man is weak. Their time here is ending, and soon, the orcs will rule all!
Long answer: Dander. Both cats and dogs have dead skin cells that they regularly release into the atmosphere (similar to some flakey humans you might know... HINT). When cats groom themselves, or when dogs scratch themselves, out goes the dander, and then comes the sneezin'. Although there are other reasons people are allergic to both dogs and cats, if you're looking for a parallel factor, dander is your man... der.
Interestingly, snakes are shedding their skin all the time, but most people aren't allergic to snakes. The reason for this is that snakes are usually eaten by dogs before their skin can get smashed up, which is why you see dogs running around more often than snakes. True story.
So in summary: thanks for coming to our stink-pile; I melted my girlfriend; Return of the King was an awesome movie; and dogs are eating my snakes! Merry Christmas, everybody!
As for your request, I'm afraid that I have some bad news for you. You can't borrow my Alex right at the very moment. Believe me, if I could lend you my Alex I totally would but I can't because Alex is very very busy right now. His boss just went on maternity leave, so he's basically running all of NYU by himself right now.
Plus, he has a comedy show with Megan Farsad coming up (in his other group, My Damn Funnypants) like next weekend or something like that. Also, he's continuing to work with the Neutron Video Projects every week or so, as well as starting to write new skit comedy plays for this here group, Oliphaunt Harold.
Plus, he's got some sleeping to do.
Maybe you can borrow him in his sleep, depending on what you're planning to do with him. If you just need a Draft Dodger for the cold, winter nights, Alex might fit that particular bill, if you give him a pillow and a blanket and let him sleep right next to your door. Just don't do it too many nights in a row, we need him to be healthy.
Take care, Neal. Don't be a stranger.
Speaking of tea, I would like to extend an invitation to all of our Ask An Elephant readers: if you would like to come over for tea at my place some Sunday, just e-mail me and let me know, because I have a Sunday Tea Series. I have lots of delicious teas and snacks, and Sunday nights are always Nicer With Tea. Keep in mind that Elephant Larry will be world-famous shortly and after that you can smirk at your friends and say, yeah, well, I'm on a having-tea-with-basis with these world-famous people and won't that be nice. Doesn't really matter if you know me personally or not, I like having tea with strangers.
