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Aunt Suzies
247 Fifth Ave.
Brooklyn, NY 11215-1908
Phone: (718) 788-3377
Walking into Aunt Suzie's is like walking into a big Italian restaurant. Before you get through the door, you can already see the menu in the window, advertising big plates of Italian foods large and small. Actually, they're just big. So, big plates large and big. Yes, from the promises of huge meatballs and lotsa pasta, it seems like Aunt Suzie's is almost exactly like your classic Italian restaurant.
In actuality, Aunt Suzie's is a classic Italian restaurant, promising huge meatballs and lotsa pasta. And this is the foundation of the little Park Slope eatery's mystery: it fulfills every expectation you have from the very beginning. How do they do it?
The answer is in classic, stereotypical Italian food. So if you're expecting penne w/vodka sauce, WATCH OUT! You may just get a plateful of penne w/vodka sauce. Chicken Marsala, you say? Ha! Order that, and watch as they bring you a big plate of Chicken Marsala.
Now, I know what you're gonna say: "My favorite thing about eating Italian is the side order of wise-cracking from those spunky Italians." Well, at Aunt Suzie's, you may be surprised to find that your Chicken Francese comes with a side order of wise-cracking from a spunky Italian waitress. If you order the Spinach Pesto, you have to swear on your mutha that you love spinach, or else you won't get it. Oh don't worry, you'll get it anyway, she was just ribbin' ya, that waitress. Ha ha ha. Those waitresses are so spunky, they'll do anything to get a rise out of ya.
To steer away from the enigmatic aspects of this establishment for just a paragraph, I must say that Aunt Suzie's is a great value. You won't get better standard Italian fare at rock-bottom prices anywhere else in the city. Did I mention that when you sit down, you get bread and butter, often without having to ask? And just wait and see if that appetizer winds up on your bill at the end of the night. I won't give it away, but let's just say that it doesn't.
I apologize if I seem to have depicted in this review a restaurant that couldn't possibly exist; a walking contradiction, a waking dream, a tangible mirage, etc. You may just have to experience this place for yourself. Italian food. Big portions. Italian waitresses. Bread and butter. And did I mention bottles of Chianti wrapped in wicker? If you don't believe it's possible, head out to Aunt Suzie's tonight, and we'll see who's the goddamned liar. And I'm not a goddamned liar, godfrickindammit.
- Jeff Solomon
