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Joe's Pizza
233 Bleecker St
New York, NY 10014-4441
(212) 255-3946
Everybody has an opinion on where to find the best slice of pizza in New York. My opinion just happens to be right.
It's very simple: Eat at Joe's. Specifically, Joe's Pizza on the corner of Carmine and Bleecker in the bright 'n lovely West Village. Go there. Order there. And eat there.
"But why should I listen to you?" you ask.
Well, skeptic, just look at my last name: Principe. That's Italian. And that means I understand pizza better than you.
"But that means you're biased," you say.
Nope! Check out my middle name: Edelson. That's Russian/Austrian. And that means I am culturally dynamic enough to understand a non-Italian's appreciation of food, particularly pizza, and therefore, understand pizza better than you.
Again, it's very simple: Eat at Joe's. Thinly baked with the perfect sauce-to-cheese ratio (0.4:1), every slice allures with a soft, yet bouncy texture; each mouthful is like biting into the buttocks of a beautiful newborn baby. Sure, there's no place to sit -- only a few tall tables inside and out. But don't worry about that! For two bucks, you get an inhalable ticket to the Pleasure Realm. Colors swirl as your taste buds dance and explode in a whirlwind of ecstasy...When you come to, you'll probably find yourself lying down on a bench in the park across the street, gazing up toward the sky and suddenly realizing that a true and powerful Goodness can and does exist. Also you'll have no wallet.
Granted, my experience at Joe's may be slightly limited. The only thing I've ever ordered there -- and I order uncontrollably whenever I pass by -- is a plain slice of pizza to go. If you want to experience other menu items, you may have to actually go there and order something for yourself and stop living vicariously through these frequently updated Elephant Larry Restaurant Reviews.
One last thing! Do you like ExclusiveFunFacts? Well here's one to tell your date as you woo them with cheap pizza: the "Delivery Guaranteed" sign on the outside of Joe's Pizza was painted on during the filming of Spiderman 2. It used to read, "Delivery Guaranteed, 30 Minutes or Less!" but the owners erased the second part after filming concluded, which
is pretty hilarious if you ask me. This ExclusiveFunFact is courtesy of Stefan Lawrence who read it in the New York Times and told me about it when I told him I was writing about Joe's. You read it here first!
To recap: Eat at Joe's. Don't Not Eat at Joe's. Eat. At. Joe's.
Rating: I give Joe's Pizza exactly what it's graciously given to me every time. One Huge Slice of Awesome Pizza.
- Chris Principe
