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Mama's Food Shop
200 East 3rd Street
New York, NY
Phone: (212) 777-4425
That there F train can drop you at Houston and 2nd avenue, which is pretty dang close. If that's no use, take a cab ya lazy.
So me and my friend Bobbie convened last week with the express purpose of hanging out. Beyond that, we had nothing specific in mind other than, maybe eating something, then, I don't know, being entertained somehow and possibly grabbing some sort of drink after that. Maybe.
Predictably, Bobbie asks "Where dya wanna eat?" She's always asking things like that. I respond with three syllables that kind of sound like "I don't know," because I'm insipid. She retorts, "How about we go to this place called Mama's? I ate there once and I really liked it." In kind, I lash back with: "That is as fine as any other suggestion, as I am willing to eat anything and have zero preference or opinion. In fact, I couldn't even tell you if I'd rather go someplace that I've been before to play it safe. That's how boring I am. I'm too boring TO BE BORING." No, I actually said "OK." And it's a good thing I did!
The thing about Mama's is they take that whole quality-over-quantity crap and throw it out the freaking window. The place is based around the clever idea that some sort of real mother is making you eat all this amazing amount of food. Like mothers apparently are known to do. And it is an amazing amount of food. Not that the food wasn't good. It was. It's just that it hardly matters how good something is if there's enough of it to have its own moon. These were the most helpful helpings I've ever seen/devoured. In fact, each of the three sides I got (I got the three-side meal, as I gave up meat for Lent. Thanks a lot, JESUS) was big enough to count as a miniature restaurant. Let's (restaurant) review, shall we?
The Garlic Broccoli: I thought this was going to be the centerpiece of the meal, as the hipster guy behind the counter piled it about 9 inches off the plate. "That's a lot of broccoli!" I thought. I was so naive back then. The broccoli was very good, though nothing spectacular. It was cooked all crunchy and juicy and the garlic tasted nice, but it didn't have that extra UMPH that gives a good broccoli dish a 8/10. So instead it gets a 7/10.
The Macaroni & Cheese: After one big ol' scoop of this junk was added to my plate, I realized what I was in for. After two more big ol' scoops were added, I lost consciousness briefly. When I came to, I found a small country of macaroni & cheese sitting there, steaming up delicious stink-lines of cheese, seasoning and good old fashioned pasta directly to my nose. I ate it. This crap was good. A-.
The Mashed Potatoes: Oh yeah. If you're in a down-at-home style restaurant, they'd better get their potatoes right, whatever smashed, diced, sliced or mashed form they take. Mama's did not disappoint. In fact, they did the opposite of disappoint. Mama's mashed potatoes thoroughly and completely appointed me. The one drawback that I won't count because I have a hyper-active gag reflex: the last two bites on my plate were both mashed potatoes. Being filled to the brim with food, the at-this-point pretty cold mashed potatoes nearly worked as a vomit inducing agent. But don't you cats worry. I got it all down. And I haven't eaten since. Classification: Alpha.
The Gingermint Iced Tea: Not technically a side, but certainly a specific and nuanced part of my meal. That is to say, the worst part of my meal. The drink was OK, I guess. A little watered down, tasted like sweetened unsweetened iced tea. But the real problem was that it was served in those 12-ounce wax-encrusted paper cups that everyone's used to drinking tap water out of. Come on, Mama's. Isn't the point of your restaurant "Mama cares about what you eat!", not "Mama's mad at Papa and wants him to buy some decent tableware"? 100 or so drinking mugs, which is about how many I assume they'd need.
"The Triplettes of Belleville": Not technically part of the meal, but I enjoyed it a lot. I thought the sound quality was amazing, and if I didn't know any better I'd think that was the reason the movie was made, not the innovative - if zany - animation. Extra points for me having worked in a town called Belleville for a week. 3 stars.
All in all, I give Mama's a green, which is my 2nd favorite color behind red. Mama's is not my 2nd favorite restaurant, but I'd generally consider it among that 2nd tier of restaurants. Teamed with "The Triplettes of Belleville" Mama's would get red, but that's really not fair to any of the other restaurants reviewed. Quizno's would kick my ass.
- Geoff Haggerty
