Features --> Restaurant Reviews
Remi To Go
145 West 53rd Street
Phone: (212) 581-4242
www.reminyc.com
I think it's safe to say that everyone involved with this website enjoys a good laugh every now and then, be it the readers, the writers, or the members of some other mysterious group of people that don't fit into those two pretty-much-all-inclusive categories. It's true. We all get a kick out of a good witty restaurant review. But sometimes, we have to get serious.
And that time is now.
I want to take a moment and reach out to those readers out there who are actually visiting this website solely for its below average restaurant reviews. You know who you are. I'm talking about the people who are actually hungry during their lunch hour. The people who hopelessly glance down these barren concrete streets without a sanitary, edible thing in sight. The good people, right here, right now, with computers and internet connections who are just trying to find a warm, affordable meal in this big, cold city.
Well search no further friends, for I've found the place.
While interning in midtown Manhattan, I quickly got sick of the lame McDonald's Meal Deals afforded by my barely McMinimal wage. So I did what any normal person would do: I wandered within a strict one-block radius of my office in search of the most incredible deal in Manhattan. The difference between me and those other normal persons? I actually found it.
Introducing, Remi.
Wander through the block-long, kind-of-open-aired atrium between 53rd and 54th streets right by 7th Avenue, look into that big fancy restaurant window, and you'll see dozens of well-dressed business executives devouring linguini and lasagna by the plateful. You'll probably then look down at yourself and think, "Wow, I'm not dressed well enough to go in there." Then you'll probably look at the posted menu and think, "I am so poor and hungry and sad." Well turn around, friend. One-hundred and eighty degrees to be exact.
Introducing, Remi…To Go.
OH. MY. GOD. According to Luigi "some food critic" Veronolli, Remi is "the best Italian restaurant in America." I wouldn't know. I've never eaten there. Instead, I take my cheap ass to that all but forgotten stepchild, Remi To Go. And so should you.
Here's how it works: They take all the food from the real (read: expensive) Remi, cart it out across that semi-open-aired atrium, and sell it for slightly cheaper prices in convenient boxed-lunches "for picnics and other jaunts."
BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE!!!
If you can wait until 3 o'clock in the afternoon, Remi To Go (bless its soul) cuts all prices by fifty percent! FIFTY! So take that beautiful $4.50's worth of pasta primo dora, divide by two, multiply by one, and that's just fifty percent of the original cheap ass price!
Granted, 3 o'clock can be a bit late for the weak of spirit. But honestly, I appreciate this. Not only does Remi To Go provide quality food that's sat around long enough to be sold at a reasonable price, but Remi also rewards its bargain shoppers with an appreciation for suffering and mental discipline. You will never fully understand the inherent beauty of consumption until you wait eight long hours after breakfast to eat your lasagna. It's called fasting, people. And it's holy for a reason.
All in all, Remi To Go is soon to be the worst kept secret of midtown Manhattan. Don't blow it, my stingy bastard friends.
- Chris Principe
