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Features --> Restaurant Reviews

Subway

29 E 8th St
New York NY 10003
Phone: 212-358-0286


The wonderful thing about New York is the amazing amounts of excellently prepared food at relatively low prices. Which is why Subway is such a refreshing change.

Subway is a submarine sandwich shop just around the corner from where I work, ironically located across the street from Quiznos. They sell their sandwiches in two sizes only: six inch, and twelve inch. But the real draw here is that you can make your sandwich any way you want it!

Do you like pickles on your sandwich? You can have pickles! Mayonnaise or mustard? It's your choice! More than one slice of cheese? That's extra!

Not only that, but they make your sandwich right in front of you. It's amazing to see someone put together meat, and cheese, and vegetables, and sauces with such care and dedication. It's like they're artists. Sandwich artists.

The other thing about Subway is that they're so cheap. You can get a healthy, nutritious, delicious, foot-long sandwich, a Snapple, and a bag of chips, for less than $6. Sometimes, I buy two or three Subway sandwiches a day, just so I can save money.

And oh, the taste! Never has your mouth had such a party in it! Granted, I only eat the Vegetarian Delite [sic] sandwich, but what a delight [sic] it is! It's like a salad, but on bread.

All right, all right, I'm being a little meanly sarcastic here, but Subway is actually good on the go. And, it's MUCH better than Quiznos. The bread is fine, the veggies are crisp, and you do get your choice of dressing. And as we all know, choice is the remainder of an unsolvable equation.

But what about the so-called "Subway Diet," you say. I have friends who actually have gone on the Subway Diet, eating at least one Subway sandwich a day, and they do say it works. The tricky part here, and believe me, I've checked this out, is that most of the stuff in Subway ISN'T particularly good for you.

For Subway to actually be healthy, you can probably only have a six inch hero on wheat bread, only vegetables, and no cheese or dressing of any kind. Occasionally, you can throw a slice of meat on there. But not any fatty meats, just, maybe, some turkey. Also, stay away from olives (high sodium), and sweet peppers (soaked in oil).

For my money, forget the Subway diet, and just eat their food. It IS better tasting than greasy hamburgers, or coldly toasted Quizno's subs, (although not as delicious as good ol' Blimpie's). Just be aware that, according to Fast Food Nation, Subway is the worst employer in the United States, and is more interested in real estate than food. If you can get over that, it's all good.

I give Subway three out of five dancing pickles for food, and an extra dancing pickle for consistency of product.

- Alexander Zalben

Elephant Larry: Sketch Comedy